WP3: Pre-Writing 1

I have quite a bit of experience with art-objects. I was in art classes all through High School and enjoyed going to various museums and exhibits. In my sophomore year, as a class project, we went to our art teachers home and worked with some of her tools to create metal sculptures. These were usually fairly small. They ranged from being turtles to small ladybugs to taller flower sculptures. We worked mainly with scrap metal, which was quite challenging, but in the end all the sculptures turned out very cool.

Another time I’ve made a sculpture is my junior year. We had to create a sculpture from aluminum and copper wires. This proved to be quite challenging as well, because those two media were all we had to work with to create the initial frame of our sculpture and then also to wrap it and give it some substance and stability. I created a seal that stood about 3 feet high and weighed around 20 pounds at least in the end.

One of my favorite sculptors is Dale Chihuly. He creates brilliant sculptures from glass. The way he comes up for his idea for his sculpture is part of the reason I enjoy his works so much. He simply lays paper or canvas down on the ground and throws and splatters paint onto it. This creates a work of art in itself, but then Chihuly examines what he’s just created and finds certain area of the painting that intrigues him and he creates a sculpture from it. He does all his glass blowing in his studio with the help of some workers.

Last year while I was at the Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art in Kansas City, I got the opportunity to see some of Chihuly’s sculptures in person. They are absolutely magnificent to me. It amazes me how a person can make such beautiful objects out of glass. Each of his sculptures is completely different from the rest, which is another thing that I absolutely love about his work.

Final Draft

Author's Statement:

This writing project was a much bigger challenge than I expected it to be. However, I did have a better idea of what was expected of me because of the previous writing assignment. As I began my drafting process, I realized analyzing a comic was going to be considerably different than if I were analyzing yet another photograph.

In my first draft, I failed to find pictures and hyperlinks that I felt suitable for the argument my comic was making. I also had a hard time finding an argument and getting it to make sense with key technical elements. I found the key technical elements I wanted to focus on, but had a hard time making the argument go along with the elements I had chosen.

In the second draft, I found major adjustments needed to be made, based on the first peer review I received. I had quite a few sentences that didn't flow and that jumbled together and were hard to make sense of. I had to go back and find all these sentences and try to make them make sense and still get the point across of what I was initially trying to say. My argument was still very unstable, so I strived to find a way to make it more stable and pertain to the rhetorical elements we discussed in class.

For my final draft, there were some huge adjustments made. I completely changed my argument, because my initial argument wasn't actually an argument from the text, but something that I was looking too deep into the text for. Therefore, I changed the argument, which, in turn, caused a lot of changes to the paper. After all these changes were made, however, the paper made much more sense. There was an actual, real argument to it and I was able to tie in all the key rhetorical elements I had initially wanted to focus on. It ended up making much more sense this way.

There definitely was more revisions done between my second and final drafts than my first and second drafts. This was mainly due to the fact that I completely changed my argument, which essentially created a whole new paper, although many of the same ideas fit well, which made the process much easier for me. In the end, all the revisions to the second draft paid off, as the final draft was obviously much better written than the first two.

My writing has improved tremendously from the first project to this project. I'm beginning to better understand how to write rhetorically and relate things back to key technical elements. I would imagine that my writing will improve even more between this project and our final writing project. I work hard to do my best in all my classes and believe this is one of my better writing works. As I talk more with my peers and get feedback from them and my instructor, I get a better sense of how to improve my writing, which in turn, will help me not only for this class, but for other classes in the future.


Second Draft
First Draft
Statement of Purpose

WP2: Final Draft:

Love is a word, an emotion, with many definitions. For some, love is “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person” (Dictionary.com). Hollywood has adopted a cliché, cinematic interpretation of the sentiment supposedly felt around the world, but for the rest of us on planet Earth, love represents a whirlwind of emotion. The truth of the matter is love complicates the mind: it turns our cold reality into blissful lunacy. It takes over your soul and creates a bond with another person that can run miles deep. The comic strip, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” expresses the ludicrousness of the pure concept of love.

“A Softer World” is a light-hearted comic series created by Emily Horne and Joey Comeau. The comic was first published online on February 7, 2003 (asofterworld.com). This comic series is in tradition of ‘romans durs’ or ‘hard novels’ which focuses on the joy, sorrow, and all-round excitement of life (education.yahoo.com). Romans durs deals with events and emotions commonly experienced by readers, making theme and, consequently, argument more accessible. The words found in the comics can come across quite depressing, while other times can seem happy and full of joy, but can also be full of sarcasm and wit. That’s one of the interesting aspects of this comic series. These words always keep you hooked and guessing because you never know what direction they are going to go for the next strip.

The authors of the comic strip, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” are attempting to recapture the confusing and complex experience that is love. A relationship and the chemistry between two people may appear senseless to outsiders, but the interior whimsicality are what make love special and authentic. The comic essentially captures the authenticity of love and demonstrates it through key technical elements such as wording, saturation, hue and separation of the photograph and pathos developed by the wording and imagery.

The use of words in this comic, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” is the biggest factor that appeals to pathos. The words provoke some humor because of the lunacy of what they’re saying, but also build some serious thought and emotions within the reader. “I want to rob lumber mills and hospitals with you,” are words that come across as blunt and somewhat ludicrous, but really do present the shock factor that is necessary to make the point. The comic does tone down a bit in the third frame, where the author allows the readers to confront what it means to be in love. The frame states, “The way love should.” These words wrap up the whole comic and bring together the idea that love is supposed to drive a person out of their mind.

The global pattern of this comic was most likely constructed by using the arguing by example definition. Arguing by example is best explained by, “substantiating a general claim” (CDA, pg. 203). The words in the comic strip give an example of how the authors want to explain their views on love. Love is supposed to “bewilder the hell out of people,” according to the two authors. They are aiming to get the readers to examine their current relationships and recognize the similarity between what they describe in the comic and what the readers feel in their own relationships. This form of argument is an effective way to do so because of the shock factor it can present.

The way the words are presented are also elements that can be considered when describing the argument of the comic strip. The words are not just printed onto the picture or in a thought or word bubble like traditional comics, but instead appear to be cut and pasted onto the pictures. The fact that there is not many words to the comic and they have all been cut out and arranged in a readable format makes the comic more appealing to readers. The words are separate from the photograph, which presents an opportunity to process each element of the comic strip individually and then bring them together for further comprehension, if necessary.

Another interesting part of this particular comic strip is the picture that was chosen for the background. In the first frame is a man who appears to be holding back a laugh. He appears to be in a train or subway station from what a person can see in the next two frames. This picture fits the words of the comic quite well, and also appeals to pathos. It adds a little more to the humorous aspect of this comic strip. It also creates questions within the reader/viewer. They may now be wondering if the man is laughing because of the ridiculous ideas of the comic or is he laughing because he’s guilty of one of the “crimes” mentioned.

The hue and saturation of the photograph used for this comic strip are quite beneficial to the argument the photograph is presenting.This particular photograph is printed in black and white, which can raise attention to the sorrow of those who may never have been able to experience the bliss called love. The fact that the photograph isn’t very dark where it could be may indicate the hope that the reader may one day experience the wonderful emotion described within the words of the strip.

The separation in the photograph can play a large part in the meaning of the photograph too. The fact that the man’s face is only on the first slide where they actually speak of human interaction is something that could simply verify the feeling of need for a connection with another human. “The way love should,” is a statement of boldness, which adds intensity to the statement the authors are making. The fact that nothing is really in the photos of the frames of the last two sets of words could be a way for the authors to demonstrate the emptiness that can be experienced without that deep connection created by love.

The words of this particular comic bring forth various emotions. One could find a bit of humor in these words, just from the absurdity of the idea of robbing lumber mills and hospitals to demonstrate your love for another human being. Another reader could find sorrow in these words, as they long to experience the insane feelings that are described within the comic strip.

The photograph also contributes to the feelings of humor and laughter, as you see the man who is holding back laughter. Seeing another person laugh can sometimes trigger a comical response within a reader as well. The photograph, while in black and white, really does present more of an upbeat feeling than a sad, sorrowful one.

The authors do well to create an experience much like novelists and filmmakers do in their works, through the various key technical elements mentioned throughout the essay. The comic strip from the series, “A Softer World,” does well to measure up to the standard of a particular romans durs writing, while also maintaining the standards of a "traditional" comic. It expresses the emotion that comes from everyday life and makes it real for the reader, who may or may not have experienced the insane, passionate experience we call love.

Works Cited

Lynch, Dennis A. and Wysocki, Anne Frances. Compose Design Advocate; A Rhetoric for Integrating Written, Visual, and Oral Communication. Pearson Education Inc, 2007.

http://www.dictionary.com

http://education.yahoo.com/reference/encyclopedia/entry/Simenon

http://www.asofterworld.com/about.php