Final Draft

Author’s Note

I have always enjoyed art. I appreciate its aesthetic qualities and its ability to make me think. I thoroughly enjoy spending hours upon hours at art museums looking at all the various pieces, and I have had quite a bit of experience with art throughout my jr. high and high school years, which was why I thought this project (writing project 3) was going to be one of the easier ones of the semester. I, however, was mistaken. When I first met my sculpture, Daimaru XV, I saw something in it that intrigued me. I was very excited to begin the challenge of getting to know my sculpture. It proved to be much more of a challenge than I had originally expected, though, considering I couldn’t find much information on that sculpture or the sculptor.

I didn’t have the opportunity to choose which option to do for this writing project, but I believe if I had the opportunity, I would have picked option two. This option looked like the easier of the two options at first, but as the analyzing and drafting process began, I realized this option was going to be more challenging than anticipated. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to write a personal letter to this sculpture and include a description of it, along with observations and reflections, and use rhetorical language.

I began the writing process the same way as the previous two writing projects did, with a statement of purpose. I was sure to include how I was going to go about composing my letter. I wanted to be very clear in my statement of purpose, stating how this project is different from the others and how I need to keep this in mind throughout the writing process.

There were some problems that came up throughout my writing process. The main problem that came up was how I was going to write a letter to the sculpture and still make it sound like it was an analytical piece. I looked at some of the letters from the previous semester to get a better idea of what was exactly being asked of me, and I found that the letters really were just that. They didn’t sound too formal or analytical. They simply read like reflection letters.

My drafting process was short, but it was really helpful. My peer didn’t focus on the letter aspect as much as help me with the performance part of my project. We worked on finding the best way to move around my sculpture as I’m doing my dramatic reading. She also helped me find a good pose to go along with the performance part of my grade. The pose, though simple, goes along with the symbolism in the sculpture of how smooth life can go sometimes. I found this part of the sculpture the most peaceful and the part of life that I have the most trouble finding. This sculpture helped me see that even though there is chaos, there is also a time where life can be calm and going "as planned."

First Draft
Statement of Purpose

Final Draft

Dear Daimaru,

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with you over the last two weeks. I was always moving, trying to find a deeper meaning within you from all the various angles. I do have some experience with art and attempting to find inner meaning within art. However, I do not have much experience with your type of art. When I first met you, I was very intrigued by you. I was able to go home and research you, and there was where I found your name means “great circle.” Sadly, this was about all I could find out about you. It is very hard to find information about you on the internet, something that is very surprising at this day in age. We have had our share of time together and have gotten to know each other fairly well.

As we have bonded over the last couple of weeks, I have become comfortable enough with you to call you Daimaru. This, however is not your true name. Your creator, your father, Michael Todd, gave you the name Daimaru XV. This does indeed mean that you have at least 14 additional siblings. Glad I’m not you. You were created in 1981 and you now call the Sculpture Garden of the Sheldon Museum of Art home. Your creator, Michael Todd, was born here in Nebraska, which could be why you were brought back here to live. His fascination with Japanese calligraphy is greatly reflected in you. He has created many great works throughout his career, you of course being one of the best. He wisely chose to make you out of lacquered steel. This was a very considerate of him, considering he was simply thinking of how to make you withstand the harshness of the environmental conditions. However, the steel he created you out of has taken a bit of a beating through the thirty some years you have been out in the environment, but you still stand strong and unfailing. Mike definitely knew what he was doing when he created you.

When you and I first met, I wasn’t very open to you. I didn’t want to take the time to get to know you and really see what you all had to say. Sure, I noticed the outer, aesthetic qualities you possessed, but that’s really as far as I went in terms of trying to get to know you. I wasn’t willing to accept that you could be more than just some random pieces of steel that were welded together and called art. Now, though, since I stepped outside of my box and got to know you, I realize you are so much more than I could ever have imagined. Our journey had a rough beginning, as I’m sure you remember all too well.

The first thing I really noticed about you was your bottom portion. Your visual hierarchy is definitely reversed if you think about it, because the first thing everyone looks at is your bottom half. You have a lot of things going on down there! There is quite a bit of repetition of shapes throughout your lower portion. There is only one shape that you only have one of, and that is your most organic element. There are plenty of rectangular, circular, and wavy shapes that are repeated two or three times throughout your “body.” The organic shape, that vaguely reminds me of a pool of water, is the only one of its kind throughout you. This truly intrigued me, therefore I came over to find out more about you and figure out why this was.

You have weathered a bit throughout the years, something that is painfully obvious as I look at you. While at first you had the original metal tone that steel naturally takes, the weather did to you what weather has a tendency to do to metal. You have now taken on a darker, more copperish tone due to the rusting that has occurred. Don’t worry though, I think the rusting adds a little something to your deeper meaning. It adds some age to you, which is a part of life, something I believe you greatly symbolize.

One day when I was spending some quality time with you, some lady who was taking children around on tours referred to you as a “circle of life.” This description was something I found particularly insightful and, as I pondered it, completely true. Mike’s intention was to demonstrate associations with the universe and imposing harmony on chaos through you, and I believe he accomplished this with great ease. You do symbolize a “circle of life” in my eyes. The way you are almost completely smooth and almost perfect along your top portion and then go to complete and utter chaos towards your bottom half is very symbolic to me about how life is for most people. Even when things are going smooth and the way we want to in life, there is still something that gets thrown in that changes all the plans and throws a dent into life. You found a way to symbolize that through your upper portion, where you almost make a perfect half circle, but then all the sudden there is an object protruding from you, completely throwing off the perfection and the smoothness, which happens oh so often in life.

I thoroughly enjoyed your company over the last couple weeks. I feel like we got to know each other very well. You raised many questions within me about what exactly Mike was trying to accomplish when he created you. Now, because imitation is the highest form of flattery, before I depart for the final time, I am going to join you in symbolizing one of the calmer parts of life. Although I know I don’t have you figured out to the fullest, I do believe I have part of your deeper meaning figured out. You challenged me and I appreciate it greatly. Thank you for the challenge. I’ll treasure the time we spent together for quite some time.

Your friend,
Jamie Jo

Rough Draft

Dear Daimaru,
I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with you over the last two weeks. I was always moving, trying to find a deeper meaning within you from all the various angles. I do have some experience with art and attempting to find inner meaning within art. However, I do not have much experience with your type of art. When I first met you, I was very intrigued by you. I gave you the nickname, “whimsical circle,” because that’s what first popped into my head when I had seen you for the very first time. However, when I was able to go home and research you, I found your name means “great circle.” Sadly, this was about all I could find out about you. It is very hard to find information about you on the internet, something that is very surprising at this day in age. We have had our share of time together and have gotten to know each other fairly well. I want to take the time with you today to talk about my interpretation of the argument you make and what it means to me and others who decide to spend time with you.

As we have bonded over the last couple of weeks, I have become comfortable enough with you to call you Daimaru. This, however is not your true name. Your creator, your father, Michael Todd, gave you the name Daimaru XV. This does indeed mean that you have at least 14 additional siblings. Glad I’m not you. You were created in 1981 and you now call the Sculpture Garden of the Sheldon Museum of Art home. Your creator, Michael Todd, was born here in Nebraska, which could be why you were brought back here to live. His fascination with Japanese calligraphy is greatly reflected in you. He has created many great works throughout his career, you of course being one of the best. He wisely chose to make you out of lacquered steel. This was a very considerate of him, considering he was simply thinking of how to make you withstand the harshness of the environmental conditions. However, the steel he created you out of has taken a bit of a beating through the thirty some years you have been out in the environment, but you still stand strong and unfailing. Mike definitely knew what he was doing when he created you.

When I first saw you the day we were all out and about picking sculptures to befriend, I first referred to you as “the whimsical circle.” This nickname of mine is quite appropriate, I believe, because you are quite quirky and unusual for a circle. Your upper half appears to be almost a perfect circle, but then you go to utter chaos towards your bottom half. You are a fairly large sculpture. You expand about 11 feet both ways, quite impressive I must say.
You have weathered a bit throughout the years. While at first you had the original metal tone that steel naturally takes, the weather did to you what weather has a tendency to do to metal. You have now taken on a darker, more copperish tone due to the rusting that has occurred. Don’t worry though, I think the rusting adds a little something to your deeper meaning.

The first thing I really noticed about you was your bottom portion. Your visual hierarchy is definitely reversed if you think about it, because the first thing everyone looks at is your bottom half. You have a lot of things going on down there! There is quite a bit of repetition of shapes throughout your lower portion. There is only one shape that you only have one of, and that is your most organic element. There are plenty of rectangular, circular, and wavy shapes that are repeated two or three times throughout your “body.” The organic shape, that vaguely reminds me of a pool of water, is the only one of its kind throughout you. This truly intrigued me, therefore I came over to find out more about you and figure out why this was.

One day when I was spending some quality time with you, some lady who was taking children around on tours referred to you as a “circle of life.” This description was something I found particularly insightful and, as I pondered it, completely true. Mike’s intention was to demonstrate associations with the universe and imposing harmony on chaos through you, and I believe he accomplished this with great ease. You do symbolize a “circle of life” in my eyes. The way you are all smooth and almost perfect along your top portion and then go to complete and utter chaos towards your bottom half is very symbolic to me about how life is fore most people. Even when things are going smooth and the way we want to in life, there is still something that gets thrown in that changes all the plans and throws a dent into life. I find that very inspiring about you. You make me ponder about your true inner meaning.

I thoroughly enjoyed your company over the last couple weeks. I feel like we got to know each other very well. You raised many questions within me about what exactly Mike was trying to accomplish when he created you. Although I know I don’t have you figured out to the fullest, I do believe I have part of your deeper meaning figured out. You challenged me and I appreciate it greatly. Thank you for the challenge. I’ll treasure the time we spent together for quite some time.

Your friend,
Jamie

WP3: Statement of Purpose

In these modern times, art can be just about whatever we want it to be. Many people see abstract art as pieces of garbage that a five year old could do, while others see abstract art as exquisite works that can never be outdone. Art is primarily in the eye of the beholder. Sculptures are no different. Some people could pass a sculpture and think that it’s just this large circular object that isn’t quite a perfect circle, while another person could see it and try to analyze the deeper meaning beyond the exterior appearance of the work of art.

As I analyze Daimaru XV by Michael Todd, I need to be direct and efficient with my writing. I need to convey my message in the clearest way possible. Because this project is unlike the previous two projects I have done, I need to find a way to convey all the ideas and meanings that my sculpture represents. By accomplishing this mission, I hope to give people a better understanding of Daimaru XV and of art in general. I want to demonstrate to my audience the argument created within the sculpture Daimaru XV. The argument this sculpture portrays is demonstrated through aesthetic and rhetorical elements that appeal to both pathos and logos, through the title of the sculpture and through the elements in which the sculpture was placed. I want to enlighten my audience on how the sculpture is demonstrating the various ideas the sculptor intended it to demonstrate.

My audience will primarily be my teacher and my classmates, but also various people walking by as they see us perform our readings. I know my main audience fairly well and am aware that they will also be doing projects similar to mine, so they will be expecting certain things from my presentation. My primary audience has the same knowledge and terminology that I do, therefore this will contribute to how they criticize my performance and overall reading.

I will also have a secondary audience of various internet bloggers and searchers who happen to come across my blog either by blogging or through a random search engine. This audience won’t have the background knowledge that I have, therefore I need to take this into mind and create an essay that will appeal to this audience as well. I need to appeal to this audience and also inform them of the ideas that my sculpture is trying to portray.

Art is a major part of the world around us. It communicates to us in ways that verbal communication cannot satisfy. The major goal of my essay/letter is to help others better understand the message being relayed by the sculpture Daimaru XV. If I am not successful in demonstrating this argument, the audience will not be able to fully understand and appreciate Michael Todd’s sculpture. The audience will have the ultimate decision in whether I am successful or not, however. If I am successful, then the audience will leave my performance or essay with a better understanding of the underlying meaning within Daimaru XV and other art in general. If I am not successful, then the audience will leave without gaining the knowledge and understanding I had hoped they’d gain.

Historical Analysis

Michael Todd’s sculpture Daimaru XV was created out of steel in 1981. The sculpture is located on the west side of the Sheldon Art Gallery on the UNL campus. The sculpture appears to be somewhat of a whimsical circle, as I have taken to calling it. The title Daimaru is Japanese for “great circle.” The sculpture is a reflection of Todd’s apparent obsession with Japanese calligraphy (sheldonartgallery.org). Todd holds many meanings with the sculpture, “including associations with the universe and the idea of imposing harmony on chaos.” Daimaru XV consists of both geometric and organic elements. These elements are ones that can appear in abstract paintings. This connection would make sense, considering Todd was inspired by painting and was constantly “trying to paint with steel” (books.google.com).

The material that this sculpture was made of is steel. This has a lot to do with the overall appearance of the sculpture. Most of Todd’s sculptures were made with this media. He also began to make a majority of his sculptures with the intentions of placing them outdoors. The elements of the outdoors drastically affect the overall appearance of the sculptures.

The steel sculpture was probably more of a metal or silver color when it was first created and placed outdoors. Now that it has been outdoors for almost 30 years, it has rusted because of the weather. This oxidation has changed how a person views the sculpture. It now looks much older than it really is, and could possibly look like it may fall apart due to its age. However, the sculpture is quite strong and still quite young. The weather aged it, but as it aged, it added some depth and reality to the sculpture. Everything ages and that is reflected within the sculpture because of the weather. It goes along well with the overall theme that Todd associates with the sculpture and the universe and imposing harmony on chaos. The additional stress from the weather could be added chaos to the sculpture.

Works Cited

http://books.google.com/books?id=bs3rFfPLdOEC&pg=PA168&lpg=PA168&dq=Daimaru+XV&source=bl&ots=TIfagPJn4Q&sig=IH94yjhgcGhb6nMeXyE9A9GPV4M&hl=en&ei=BAbNS9ezIoLK8wSGj8mzDw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CAYQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=Daimaru%20XV&f=false

http://www.sheldonartgallery.org/photos/graphics/sculpturebrochure.pdf

WP3: Pre-Write 3

As I spent more time with my sculpture during class today, I realized there were a lot of things I didn’t notice my first two times with the sculpture. One of the major things I missed was the various textures within the sculpture. I did touch base on them a little bit in my last post, but after today I realized I missed a lot of textures. One of the textures I missed was part of one of the smaller pieces of the sculpture. It had a very distinct ridged texture to it. There was also two parts that had two different kinds of separations to them, which created two very different textures. All the various textures added to the depth and the overall appearance of the sculpture.

Another interesting thing I found out about the sculpture is how it works as a frame of some sort. I was positioned at a different angle today when I was analyzing the sculpture and realized that it created a wonderful frame of the campus beyond it. This is something that would really appeal to viewers because it adds more to the sculpture.

One more thing about this sculpture that is really appealing is all the various looks it can take on. There are so many different ways to look at this sculptures and each way changes the meaning of it and can alter your interpretation immensely. If you look at the sculpture from the west the sculpture takes on the original appearance of a giant ring structure, but if you take a look from the south, you are then looking through a cylinder part of the sculpture and you get a completely different view on how the sculpture is to be interpreted.

Something I hadn’t thought about before was how the weather affected the overall look of the sculpture. When the sun is shining on it, the sculpture shines quite brightly and you can see the true bronze color of the sculpture. However, when the sun is hidden, the sculpture takes on a darker tone and you can see more of the black spots from the welding and you see the added depth from the natural shadows as well. This is something I hadn’t taken time to consider until today when I saw it in both lights.

WP3: Cursory Analysis

“Daimaru XV” is a sculpture made of lacquered steel. It was sculpted in 1981 by Michael Todd. The name Daimaru translates into “great circle.” As I looked at the sculpture, my attention is almost instantly focused towards the lower half of the sculpture. This is where all the “action” of the sculpture is. The majority of Todd’s works are inspired by paintings. He has been quoted saying he is “trying to paint with steel.”

This sculpture is very interesting to look at. There is a major, thin rod curved into the shape of a circle for the upper portion of the sculpture. Then, at the bottom, things begin to get a little hectic with various objects that protrude from the base of the sculpture, but continue to complete the “circle” that was being attempted. This is what all of the focus is usually shifted towards the bottom portion of this sculpture.

The sculpture was bronze in color for the most part, but there are some parts of the metal that take on a black tone from being welded. This contrast in colors creates even more depth to the sculpture. When the natural sunlight hits this sculpture, the colors really stand out and draw your attention to the various objects sticking out at the bottom even more than usual.

The most interesting part of this sculpture is that it is created of various miniature “sculptures.” There are some pieces that create the bottom that look like they could also be symbolizing some things. Some pieces of metal bear an interesting resemblance to various objects you’d find in life and nature. There is one piece of metal that sticks out and has many separations and is kind of coiled. As I looked at this particular object of the sculpture, a snake came to my mind. Although I don’t really believe this was the intention of the sculptor, it was an interesting find within the sculpture. Things like that object gave me more to look at and think about when I was viewing this sculpture.

There is definitely visual hierarchy within this sculpture. The main, thin rod is what captures the viewer’s eye for the first time, but as soon as you begin to follow the rod, you find the disorganized bottom portion of the sculpture. This visual hierarchy almost gives the sculpture actual movement. As I look at the sculpture in this way, I can see the sculpture rolling away and all these objects flying out of the circle. The visual hierarchy creates this movement within the piece.

There are various textures found within the sculpture as well. The majority of the sculpture is smooth, as you would imagine metal to be. However, other parts of the sculpture have a rippled effect to them, almost like the ripples and waves of water. Another part of the sculpture has separations in it, which gives it an interesting dashed feeling to it. There are also some parts of the sculpture that don’t appear to be sanded, so it gives it kind of a pokey feeling to it.

WP3: Pre-Writing 1

I have quite a bit of experience with art-objects. I was in art classes all through High School and enjoyed going to various museums and exhibits. In my sophomore year, as a class project, we went to our art teachers home and worked with some of her tools to create metal sculptures. These were usually fairly small. They ranged from being turtles to small ladybugs to taller flower sculptures. We worked mainly with scrap metal, which was quite challenging, but in the end all the sculptures turned out very cool.

Another time I’ve made a sculpture is my junior year. We had to create a sculpture from aluminum and copper wires. This proved to be quite challenging as well, because those two media were all we had to work with to create the initial frame of our sculpture and then also to wrap it and give it some substance and stability. I created a seal that stood about 3 feet high and weighed around 20 pounds at least in the end.

One of my favorite sculptors is Dale Chihuly. He creates brilliant sculptures from glass. The way he comes up for his idea for his sculpture is part of the reason I enjoy his works so much. He simply lays paper or canvas down on the ground and throws and splatters paint onto it. This creates a work of art in itself, but then Chihuly examines what he’s just created and finds certain area of the painting that intrigues him and he creates a sculpture from it. He does all his glass blowing in his studio with the help of some workers.

Last year while I was at the Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art in Kansas City, I got the opportunity to see some of Chihuly’s sculptures in person. They are absolutely magnificent to me. It amazes me how a person can make such beautiful objects out of glass. Each of his sculptures is completely different from the rest, which is another thing that I absolutely love about his work.

Final Draft

Author's Statement:

This writing project was a much bigger challenge than I expected it to be. However, I did have a better idea of what was expected of me because of the previous writing assignment. As I began my drafting process, I realized analyzing a comic was going to be considerably different than if I were analyzing yet another photograph.

In my first draft, I failed to find pictures and hyperlinks that I felt suitable for the argument my comic was making. I also had a hard time finding an argument and getting it to make sense with key technical elements. I found the key technical elements I wanted to focus on, but had a hard time making the argument go along with the elements I had chosen.

In the second draft, I found major adjustments needed to be made, based on the first peer review I received. I had quite a few sentences that didn't flow and that jumbled together and were hard to make sense of. I had to go back and find all these sentences and try to make them make sense and still get the point across of what I was initially trying to say. My argument was still very unstable, so I strived to find a way to make it more stable and pertain to the rhetorical elements we discussed in class.

For my final draft, there were some huge adjustments made. I completely changed my argument, because my initial argument wasn't actually an argument from the text, but something that I was looking too deep into the text for. Therefore, I changed the argument, which, in turn, caused a lot of changes to the paper. After all these changes were made, however, the paper made much more sense. There was an actual, real argument to it and I was able to tie in all the key rhetorical elements I had initially wanted to focus on. It ended up making much more sense this way.

There definitely was more revisions done between my second and final drafts than my first and second drafts. This was mainly due to the fact that I completely changed my argument, which essentially created a whole new paper, although many of the same ideas fit well, which made the process much easier for me. In the end, all the revisions to the second draft paid off, as the final draft was obviously much better written than the first two.

My writing has improved tremendously from the first project to this project. I'm beginning to better understand how to write rhetorically and relate things back to key technical elements. I would imagine that my writing will improve even more between this project and our final writing project. I work hard to do my best in all my classes and believe this is one of my better writing works. As I talk more with my peers and get feedback from them and my instructor, I get a better sense of how to improve my writing, which in turn, will help me not only for this class, but for other classes in the future.


Second Draft
First Draft
Statement of Purpose

WP2: Final Draft:

Love is a word, an emotion, with many definitions. For some, love is “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person” (Dictionary.com). Hollywood has adopted a cliché, cinematic interpretation of the sentiment supposedly felt around the world, but for the rest of us on planet Earth, love represents a whirlwind of emotion. The truth of the matter is love complicates the mind: it turns our cold reality into blissful lunacy. It takes over your soul and creates a bond with another person that can run miles deep. The comic strip, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” expresses the ludicrousness of the pure concept of love.

“A Softer World” is a light-hearted comic series created by Emily Horne and Joey Comeau. The comic was first published online on February 7, 2003 (asofterworld.com). This comic series is in tradition of ‘romans durs’ or ‘hard novels’ which focuses on the joy, sorrow, and all-round excitement of life (education.yahoo.com). Romans durs deals with events and emotions commonly experienced by readers, making theme and, consequently, argument more accessible. The words found in the comics can come across quite depressing, while other times can seem happy and full of joy, but can also be full of sarcasm and wit. That’s one of the interesting aspects of this comic series. These words always keep you hooked and guessing because you never know what direction they are going to go for the next strip.

The authors of the comic strip, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” are attempting to recapture the confusing and complex experience that is love. A relationship and the chemistry between two people may appear senseless to outsiders, but the interior whimsicality are what make love special and authentic. The comic essentially captures the authenticity of love and demonstrates it through key technical elements such as wording, saturation, hue and separation of the photograph and pathos developed by the wording and imagery.

The use of words in this comic, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” is the biggest factor that appeals to pathos. The words provoke some humor because of the lunacy of what they’re saying, but also build some serious thought and emotions within the reader. “I want to rob lumber mills and hospitals with you,” are words that come across as blunt and somewhat ludicrous, but really do present the shock factor that is necessary to make the point. The comic does tone down a bit in the third frame, where the author allows the readers to confront what it means to be in love. The frame states, “The way love should.” These words wrap up the whole comic and bring together the idea that love is supposed to drive a person out of their mind.

The global pattern of this comic was most likely constructed by using the arguing by example definition. Arguing by example is best explained by, “substantiating a general claim” (CDA, pg. 203). The words in the comic strip give an example of how the authors want to explain their views on love. Love is supposed to “bewilder the hell out of people,” according to the two authors. They are aiming to get the readers to examine their current relationships and recognize the similarity between what they describe in the comic and what the readers feel in their own relationships. This form of argument is an effective way to do so because of the shock factor it can present.

The way the words are presented are also elements that can be considered when describing the argument of the comic strip. The words are not just printed onto the picture or in a thought or word bubble like traditional comics, but instead appear to be cut and pasted onto the pictures. The fact that there is not many words to the comic and they have all been cut out and arranged in a readable format makes the comic more appealing to readers. The words are separate from the photograph, which presents an opportunity to process each element of the comic strip individually and then bring them together for further comprehension, if necessary.

Another interesting part of this particular comic strip is the picture that was chosen for the background. In the first frame is a man who appears to be holding back a laugh. He appears to be in a train or subway station from what a person can see in the next two frames. This picture fits the words of the comic quite well, and also appeals to pathos. It adds a little more to the humorous aspect of this comic strip. It also creates questions within the reader/viewer. They may now be wondering if the man is laughing because of the ridiculous ideas of the comic or is he laughing because he’s guilty of one of the “crimes” mentioned.

The hue and saturation of the photograph used for this comic strip are quite beneficial to the argument the photograph is presenting.This particular photograph is printed in black and white, which can raise attention to the sorrow of those who may never have been able to experience the bliss called love. The fact that the photograph isn’t very dark where it could be may indicate the hope that the reader may one day experience the wonderful emotion described within the words of the strip.

The separation in the photograph can play a large part in the meaning of the photograph too. The fact that the man’s face is only on the first slide where they actually speak of human interaction is something that could simply verify the feeling of need for a connection with another human. “The way love should,” is a statement of boldness, which adds intensity to the statement the authors are making. The fact that nothing is really in the photos of the frames of the last two sets of words could be a way for the authors to demonstrate the emptiness that can be experienced without that deep connection created by love.

The words of this particular comic bring forth various emotions. One could find a bit of humor in these words, just from the absurdity of the idea of robbing lumber mills and hospitals to demonstrate your love for another human being. Another reader could find sorrow in these words, as they long to experience the insane feelings that are described within the comic strip.

The photograph also contributes to the feelings of humor and laughter, as you see the man who is holding back laughter. Seeing another person laugh can sometimes trigger a comical response within a reader as well. The photograph, while in black and white, really does present more of an upbeat feeling than a sad, sorrowful one.

The authors do well to create an experience much like novelists and filmmakers do in their works, through the various key technical elements mentioned throughout the essay. The comic strip from the series, “A Softer World,” does well to measure up to the standard of a particular romans durs writing, while also maintaining the standards of a "traditional" comic. It expresses the emotion that comes from everyday life and makes it real for the reader, who may or may not have experienced the insane, passionate experience we call love.

Works Cited

Lynch, Dennis A. and Wysocki, Anne Frances. Compose Design Advocate; A Rhetoric for Integrating Written, Visual, and Oral Communication. Pearson Education Inc, 2007.

http://www.dictionary.com

http://education.yahoo.com/reference/encyclopedia/entry/Simenon

http://www.asofterworld.com/about.php

WP2: Second Draft

Love is a word, an emotion, with many definitions. For some, love is “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person” (Dictionary.com). Hollywood has adopted a cliché, cinematic interpretation of the sentiment supposedly felt around the world, but for the rest of us on planet Earth, love represents a whirlwind of emotion. The truth of the matter is love complicates the mind: it turns our cold reality into blissful lunacy. It takes over your soul and creates a bond with another person that can run miles deep. The comic strip, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” expresses the ludicrousness of the pure concept of love.

“A Softer World” is a light-hearted comic series created by Emily Horne and Joey Comeau. The comic was first published online on February 7, 2003 (asofterworld.com). This comic series is in tradition of ‘romans durs’ or ‘hard novels’ which focuses on the joy, sorrow, and all-round excitement of life (education.yahoo.com). Romans durs deals with events and emotions commonly experienced by readers, making theme and, consequently, argument more accessible. The words found in the comics can come across quite depressing, while other times can seem happy and full of joy, but can also be full of sarcasm and wit. That’s one of the interesting aspects of this comic series. These words always keep you hooked and guessing because you never know what direction they are going to go for the next strip.

The authors of the comic strip, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” are attempting to recapture the confusing and complex experience that is love. A relationship and the chemistry between two people may appear senseless to outsiders, but the interior whimsicality are what make love special and authentic. The comic essentially captures the authenticity of love and demonstrates it through key technical elements such as wording, saturation, hue and separation of the photograph and pathos developed by the wording and imagery.

The use of words in this comic, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” is the biggest factor that appeals to pathos. The words provoke some humor because of the lunacy of what they’re saying, but also build some serious thought and emotions within the reader. “I want to rob lumber mills and hospitals with you,” are words that come across as blunt and somewhat ludicrous, but really do present the shock factor that is necessary to make the point. The comic does tone down a bit in the third frame, where the author allows the readers to confront what it means to be in love. The frame states, “The way love should.” These words wrap up the whole comic and bring together the idea that love is supposed to drive a person out of their mind.

The global pattern of this comic was most likely constructed by using the arguing by example definition. Arguing by example is best explained by, “substantiating a general claim” (CDA, pg. 203). The words in the comic strip give an example of how the authors want to explain their views on love. Love is supposed to “bewilder the hell out of people,” according to the two authors. They are aiming to get the readers to examine their current relationships and recognize the similarity between what they describe in the comic and what the readers feel in their own relationships. This form of argument is an effective way to do so because of the shock factor it can present.

The way the words are presented are also elements that can be considered when describing the argument of the comic strip. The words are not just printed onto the picture or in a thought or word bubble like traditional comics, but instead appear to be cut and pasted onto the pictures. The fact that there is not many words to the comic and they have all been cut out and arranged in a readable format makes the comic more appealing to readers. The words are separate from the photograph, which presents an opportunity to process each element of the comic strip individually and then bring them together for further comprehension, if necessary.

Another interesting part of this particular comic strip is the picture that was chosen for the background. In the first frame is a man who appears to be holding back a laugh. He appears to be in a train or subway station from what a person can see in the next two frames. This picture fits the words of the comic quite well, and also appeals to pathos. It adds a little more to the humorous aspect of this comic strip. It also creates questions within the reader/viewer. They may now be wondering if the man is laughing because of the ridiculous ideas of the comic or is he laughing because he’s guilty of one of the “crimes” mentioned.

The hue and saturation of the photograph used for this comic strip are quite beneficial to the argument the photograph is presenting. This particular photograph is printed in black and white, which can raise attention to the sorrow of those who may never have been able to experience the bliss called love. The fact that the photograph isn’t very dark where it could be may indicate the hope that the reader may one day experience the wonderful emotion described within the words of the strip.



The separation in the photograph can play a large part in the meaning of the photograph too. The fact that the man’s face is only on the first slide where they actually speak of human interaction is something that could simply verify the feeling of need for a connection with another human. “The way love should,” is a statement of boldness, which adds intensity to the statement the authors are making. The fact that nothing is really in the photos of the frames of the last two sets of words could be a way for the authors to demonstrate the emptiness that can be experienced without that deep connection created by love.

The words of this particular comic bring forth various emotions. One could find a bit of humor in these words, just from the absurdity of the idea of robbing lumber mills and hospitals to demonstrate your love for another human being. Another reader could find sorrow in these words, as they long to experience the insane feelings that are described within the comic strip.

The photograph also contributes to the feelings of humor and laughter, as you see the man who is holding back laughter. Seeing another person laugh can sometimes trigger a comical response within a reader as well. The photograph, while in black and white, really does present more of an upbeat feeling than a sad, sorrowful one.

The authors do well to create an experience much like novelists and filmmakers do in their works, through the various key technical elements mentioned throughout the essay. The comic strip from the series, “A Softer World,” does well to measure up to the standard of a particular romans durs writing, while also maintaining the standards of a "traditional" comic. It expresses the emotion that comes from everyday life and makes it real for the reader, who may or may not have experienced the insane, passionate experience we call love.

Works Cited

Lynch, Dennis A. and Wysocki, Anne Frances. Compose Design Advocate; A Rhetoric for Integrating Written, Visual, and Oral Communication. Pearson Education Inc, 2007.

http://www.dictionary.com

http://education.yahoo.com/reference/encyclopedia/entry/Simenon

http://www.asofterworld.com/about.php

WP2: Rough Draft 1

Love is a word, and an emotion, with many definitions. It can be defined as “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person,” or “a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection.” (Dictionary.com) Love is supposed to be fiery and full of passion. It can consume the body and soul and create a deep bond between two people. Of course, over time, this bond and passion can fade into more of a routine. This routine can become habitual and the excitement and infatuation of the love can lessen.

The “A Softer World” comic series was created by Emily Horne and Joey Comeau. It was first published online on February 7, 2003. (asofterworld.com) This comic series is in tradition of ‘romans durs’ or ‘hard novels’ and can be harsh or sad, but really pertains to life. This comic strip is unlike other, traditional comic strips. Instead of being a hand-illustrated strip, Horne captures a photograph, which is used across all the panels in a single strip. Comeau is responsible for writing the actual “comic.” This comic series is very different from others out there because it is real and doesn’t hold back when expressing feelings or emotions.

The fact that these comics are derived from ‘romans durs’ makes the words of the comic strips that much more interesting, considering ‘romans durs’ are defined as works that present a compassionate awareness of the emotional pain that goes along with daily life. The words found in the comics can come across quite depressing, while other times can seem so happy and full of joy, but are also found to be full of sarcasm and wit at times. That’s one of the interesting aspects of this comic series. These words always keep you hooked and guessing because you never know what direction they are going to go for the next strip.

The comic strip, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” demonstrates the want and desire to keep, or reignite, the fire in a loving relationship. The argument of the emotional pain that is described in this comic series is created through key technical elements such as wording, saturation and hue of the photograph, separation of the photograph and pathos developed by the wording and imagery.

The words found in the strip, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” are quite inspiring. “I want to rob lumber mills and hospitals with you and just bewilder the hell out of people the way love should.” These words can appear a little drastic, but really do present the shock factor that is necessary to make the point. The use of words in this comic is the biggest factor that appeals to pathos. The words provoke some humor, but also some serious thought and emotions within the reader.

The global pattern of this comic was most likely constructed by using the arguing by example definition. Arguing by example is best explained by, “giving an example.” (CDA, pg. 203) The words in the comic strip do give an example of what they want their love to be like. They want it to “bewilder the hell out of people,” which is an example of a reaction that the author is looking for. The author is aiming to get the readers to examine their current relationships and possibly rekindle a spark that has been lost. This form of argument is an effective way to do so because of the shock factor it can present.

The way the words are presented are also elements that can be considered when describing the argument of the comic strip. The words are not just printed onto the picture or in a thought or word bubble like traditional comics, but instead appear to be cut and pasted onto the pictures. The words look like they have been cut from a magazine or newspaper and pasted onto the three frames. The fact that there is not many words to the comic and they have all been cut out and arranged in a readable format makes the comic more appealing to readers because it doesn’t take a lot of time to read the comic strip and the comprehension level will be higher because there isn’t a whole lot to think about. The words are separate from the photograph, which presents an opportunity to process each element of the comic strip individually and then bring them together for further comprehension, if necessary.

Another interesting part of this particular comic strip is the picture that was chosen for the background. In the first frame is a man who appears to be holding back a laugh. He appears to be in a train or subway station from what a person can see in the next two frames. This picture fits the words of the comic quite well. It also adds to the humorous aspect of the strip. It also creates questions within the reader/viewer. They may now be wondering if the man is laughing because of the ridiculous ideas of the comic or is he laughing because he’s guilty of one of the “crimes” mentioned.

The hue and saturation of the photograph used for this comic strip are quite beneficial to the argument the photograph is presenting. This particular photograph is printed in black and white, which can signify the loss of passion and fire in the relationship being spoken about in the comic. The fact that the photograph isn’t very dark where it could be may indicate the hope that there is for the same relationship to recover what it used to be.

The separation in the photograph can play a large part in the meaning of the photograph too. The fact that the man’s face is only on the first slide where they actually speak of human interaction is something that could simply symbolize the need for the connection with another human. The fact that the other two frames have no main vectors of attention and aren’t in focus could symbolize the confusion and haziness that can be seen in the words of the last two frames. “The way love should,” is a statement of boldness, but also one of uncertainty, not in the words themselves, but in the relationship being referred to. The fact that nothing is really in the photos of the frames of the last two sets of words is a symbol of the doubt of the statement.

The words of this particular comic bring forth various emotions. One could find a bit of humor in these words, just from the absurdness of the idea of robbing lumber mills and hospitals to demonstrate your love for another human being. Another reader could find sorrow in these words, as they can sound like a desperate cry to fix what was once a wonderful, passionate relationship.

The photograph also contributes to the feelings of humor and laughter, as you see the man who is holding back laughter. Seeing another person laugh can sometimes trigger a comical responses within a reader as well. The photograph, while in black and white, really does present more of an upbeat feeling than a sad, sorrowful feeling.

Through the various key technical elements mentioned throughout the essay, the comic strip from the series, “A Softer World,” does measure up to the standard of a ‘romans durs’ writing. It expresses the emotion that comes from everyday life. It also measures up to the standards of a comic. It represents an aspect of the word, even though it doesn’t follow the ways of a “traditional” comic strip.

Statement of Purpose

Comic strips are pieces of literature that serve many purposes. While some are published for a traditional, comical effect, there are some that are published for more serious or political effects as well. However, one thing all comics have in common is their ability to get our minds off the turmoil of the world around us when we see them in the papers. As I was looking through the archives of “A Softer World” I noticed that these comics are a set of more serious comics, although sometimes they do have the occasional sarcastic one that will bring a chuckle. The comic strip I chose, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” is more of a serious strip, but still delivers a powerful message.

As I create my analytical essay on my chosen strip, I will have be sure to remained focused on the argument presented in this short, three-paneled strip. While there may not be much media present, what is there does have a lot of support for the argument it presents. I want, and need, to create piece that informs my audience about the argument that is displayed within this specific comic strip. I will demonstrate this argument by explaining the use of rhetorical and aesthetic techniques, such as pathos, which uses humor, text and imagery. I hope to educate my audience about the techniques used in comics to create arguments and give them a better understanding of comic strips in general.

As I am writing my essay, I need to keep my potential audience in mind. First and foremost, the individuals who are most likely to be reading my essay would be my classmates and the teacher of my English class. My classmates and I are of the same age, and could have some of the same thoughts and views as I do as they look at the comic and my essay. These people have also been attending the same classes and have the same general topic as I do, therefore our own individual writings could be similar in some ways. I need to strive to make my writing different from all my other classmates. I also need to attempt to go above and beyond in making this the best essay I can write, because my classmates are equipped with the same knowledge that I have gained and will be tough critics of my work.

Another audience I could have would be other bloggers or internet viewers who could come upon my blog by accident or search engine. I need to work to make this essay understandable for someone who doesn’t have the background knowledge that my peers and I have as we write and view each others’ essays. I need to make my essay interesting to read and be able to captivate the readers into making them want to read the whole thing.

Everyday comics that are printed in the newspapers are generally out there to bring a laugh to our day as we read through all the other, more depressing, news articles of the paper. However, within most all of these comics is some underlying argument, one of which I hope to make more clear to the readers of my essay. If I am unable to make the argument of my chosen strip clearer, then I have failed in fulfilling my individual goals and in explaining the rhetorical techniques that are used to create these arguments. Therefore I hope I can fulfill my goals and make the argument of “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” clear to all those who read my essay.

Historical and Cultural Analysis

WP2: Cursory Analysis

The comic strip I chose is titled, “We Will Make Everything Wrong in the Right Way,” and is from the “A Softer World” archive. This comic strip is quite unlike any I’ve ever seen before. In these comics, there are usually three panels, but occasionally there are six. The one I have chosen is a three-panel. The panels in these comics don’t have pictures of their own, but instead they all share the same picture that is cut up into the three panels. In each of the panels, there is usually words that appear to be cut and pasted into the picture. These words build on each other as the panels progress. The emotion behind the words usually intensifies as the panels go on.

The first panel of the strip I’ve chosen reads, “I want to rob lumber mills and hospitals with you.” The photograph with these 3 panels is a black and white print. Behind this first set of words is the picture of a man who appears to possibly be smiling and covering his mouth with his hand. The second panel has the words, “and just bewilder the hell out of people.” This panel contains a blurred image continuing from the initial image of the man. The last panel has the words, “the way love should,” on it. The background of this panel is also the same blurred black and white continuance from the first two panels.

This comic definitely evoked an emotion in me when I read it the first time. The text is quite powerful and presents an interesting thought. The author appears to want to “bewilder the hell out of people” with their significant other. Judging by the words in the last panel, the author wants to find a way to express the power of the love he or she is in. It made me think of my own relationship and other relationships I know of where the love or bond was so strong it was hard to describe to others. The author of this comic strip obviously believes love is a mystifying and complex thing and wants to try to find a way to convey that to others. The words seemed very powerful to me.

The way this strip was presented was very effective. It is quite different from any other comic strips out there. The pictures that are included in each of the photographs are very interesting and, usually, quite appealing to the eye, which, in turn, would draw readers in. The odd way that the authors decide to enter text is also another technique that draws reader in, because it isn’t the typical fashion of people or animals with thought or speaking captions. The writing in the comics also isn’t really actual spoken words, but appear to be thoughts, almost. It’s as if we are getting a private look into what the author is thinking, instead of reading what they actually are saying. This particular strip is just “wishing,” it seems, to find a way to convey the mystical, complex experience that is love.

WP1: Final Draft

Author’s Statement:

As this was the first writing project of the semester, and the first time I’ve had to analyze photography, this writing project was a challenge for me. The in-class group-work we did in analyzing photographs did help, however, I still felt a bit unprepared and lost when beginning my drafting process.

In my first draft, I struggled to find an argument within the photograph I had chosen. I studied the photograph for quite a while before seeing that it was sending the message I found within. I did my best to find which key technical elements mainly applied to my photograph and do my best to explain their importance to the photograph and to the argument the photograph made.

In my second draft I found that I had some major adjustments to make. After I had gone through the peer-editing process, I found that some of my sentences didn’t quite make sense and I had a tendency to switch over to first person and make the essay seem less formal. I also didn’t address which rhetorical appeals I believed applied to my paper, which made my argument less stable. After I made these changes I had a much improved draft compared to my first attempt.

For my final draft, there were still many adjustments pointed out to me that I needed to make. With the help of a peer outside the class and the instructor of the course I was able to even better explain the importance of the vector of attention in my photograph. I also rearranged my essay to make it more applicable to the argument my photo created. I had to, once again, strengthen my appeals to logos and pathos and explain how the key technical elements I had found in my photograph better related to them. This made my essay much stronger. There was also a portion of my essay that conflicted some of the elements of coloration appeal. When I had corrected these errors, I felt I had a pretty well written final essay that did a good job of explaining the argument of my photograph clearly.

I did a pretty equal amount of revisions between my drafts, but I think I worked the hardest at the revisions between my second and final drafts in order to make my final draft the best I could make it. I worked a lot on my wording and rearranged things and tried to expand my conclusion to make it as effective as possible.

My writing did develop throughout this project. It still needs a lot of work, but I am on my way to becoming a skilled writer. I believe with each of the projects we do in this class, my writing will improve more and more. I strive to do better and believe I did to better from my first draft to the final draft of this essay. I learned a lot about writing and was able to better my skills and become a more successful writer at the end of this process.



Second Draft
First Draft
Statement of Purpose


Writing Project 1: Final Draft


When summer approaches, there are various activities that come into many modern American families' minds. A favored activity of the American population during the summer is going to a lake or pond to enjoy the long, hot days summer brings. As a person is at their destination, enjoying the soothing effects of the water, another common activity to do is watch the sun fade into the distance after a long day of playing.

In the image, “Sunset,” a young girl is seen standing on what appears to be a beach or some other type of land along water while the sun is setting in the distance behind her. The picture is a stunning image with very bold and vibrant colors that catch the viewers’ eyes. When a person looks at this photograph, they may think back to a special day of their childhood where they spent a whole day at a lake or some other body of water and got to experience the beautiful sight of a sunset.

However, in today’s fast-paced world, many of these modern American families don’t have time to take a relaxing trip to the lake, or anywhere for that matter. Life today is consumed by other activities, such as work, school, extracurricular activities, family members extracurricular activities, etc. One doesn’t really have the time anymore to just relax and watch the sun set.

Americans have bitten off more than they could chew when it comes to various activities we participate in today. Some families don’t even get time to take family vacations in the summer anymore because they are too busy with ball games, school or other organization fundraisers, fairs, meetings for various organizations, etc. The photograph, “Sunset” demonstrates that we need to take the time to appreciate the wonderful sights nature has to offer us. The photograph displays this through key technical elements such as a main vector of attention, cropping and framing, and coloration appeal in relationship to the rhetorical appeals logos and pathos.

The hues of this photograph benefit this photograph tremendously. They are very bold and eye-catching. The bright yellow and hot pink hues almost jump out of the picture because of their vibrancy, while the lighter blues and purples of the sky seem to provide way of taming the picture a bit. These light hues represent the bright and cheerful days of our youth when our life was far less complicated and bogged down with many various activities. They force us to think back to the times when we received great pleasure and satisfaction out of just watching the sun fade away.

The dark black of the trees and the shadows create a contrast in the image, which, in turn, also makes the image that much more bold and eye-catching. Because the girl has a darker hue to her, the viewer’s eyes are drawn to her because she’s a dark image that stands out in an area of lighter colors.

The photograph does have very obvious saturation, which is defined as “how much of a hue is present in a color.” (CDA, pg 275) The photograph appears to have been taken mainly with natural lighting, which is why it appears very real and natural, like something the viewer could find if they took the time to go outside and catch a sunset every now and again.

While the hues do an excellent job of contributing to the argument of the photograph, the girl in the image also plays a supporting role. Vectors of attention are “the lines of directed attention the arrangement of photographs cause.” (CDA, pg. 350) The main vector of attention we see is this young girl, who appears to be just gazing off into the distance at an unknown object. She appears to be alone and is standing in the sand where at her feet there appears to be a bucket and other tools children often use when playing in the sand.

The young girl’s body language seems very relaxed, possibly even tired, as if she has been there for a long portion of the day. Her relaxed pose invokes a sense of longing within the viewer for the more simpler days of childhood; days during which one would worry about nothing but enjoying themselves outdoors, playing on the beach, or just watching the sun set into the horizon. She seems to be trying to tell the photographer and/or whoever else is with her to take a moment and witness this amazing image we take for granted every day.

The fact that the girl appears to be standing alone in this photograph symbolizes the need for us as people to have some alone time. Considering the fast-paced life Americans lead anymore, the majority of us don’t take the time we need to just be alone with our thoughts and do something for ourselves. We don’t take time to reflect on the day or in anything in general. The girl standing alone could be not only saying that people need to slow down and appreciate the simple miracles of life, but could also be saying that people need to take some time to be with themselves and reflect. Take some time to do something for themselves and nobody else.

The cropping and framing could also contribute to the previous statements. The photographer may have framed the photograph this way in order to make viewers come to this conclusion. The way the photograph is cropped and framed make the lake in the background extend to the borders of the picture. This gives the allusion that this lake could be quite large. There is no sign of another person on the lake or the beach, which could be a result from the photograph being taken vertically instead of horizontally. This contributes to the argument that the cropping and framing of this photograph was intentional in order to create a feeling of isolation and the need to be alone.

Photography is a wonderful hobby or activity that has the extraordinary power to make people consider many various questions and ideas. The images produced have the ability to make a person think long and hard about what they see and try to go deeper and decide how the image in front of them makes them feel.

The photograph “Sunset” has many key technical elements in it that bring up many emotions and feelings in any viewer who happens to glance at it. The coloration of the photograph not only catches the eyes of viewers, but also raises thoughts of joy and happiness because of the brightness and the actual hues of the photograph. The main vector of attention, the girl, raises not only emotions, but also many questions.

The photographer wanted to make you feel the longing feeling for the simpler days of like where you could take a day off and go to the lake and not have a single worry or care about anything else. The setting of the picture creates a calm and serene effect, because we see the sun fading into the distant horizon and we see the girl just standing there watching it without another care in the world. It poses the thought that maybe we should just take the time every once in a while to be alone and just watch the sun set and enjoy the natural wonders that this wonderful planet gives us.

Works Cited

Lynch, Dennis A. and Wysocki, Anne Frances. Compose Design Advocate; A Rhetoric for Integrating Written, Visual, and Oral Communication. Pearson Education Inc, 2007.